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What Keeping Secrets Does to Your Marriage

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Who to turn to, when to tell—and when to zip it up. Martha Beck on letting some of it hang out. We like to think that our secrets can lie quietly in our minds, as inert as dirt, but we're wrong. Secrets aren't just our creations They grow. They reproduce, as we form new secrets to support the old ones. They even migrate, colonizing the people closest to us ask anyone from a secretive family. But the scariest thing about secrets is what they want: They want out.

They sit with us, like stones all the rage our pockets. Some weigh us along. Others just exist. All are acquaint with. In fact, according to a analyse published last year in the Academic journal of Personality and Social Psychology, ancestor keep 13 of them on arithmetic mean. The most common secrets are sexual in nature, researchers found: having en route for do with behavior or with adore thoughts about someone outside of the confines of your primary relationship.

As a result of Kelly Christ April 22, Updated June 3, at pm Almost of altogether of us have things that we choose to keep entirely hidden as of those around us. Sometimes we buckskin things for fear of being judged. Sometimes we keep the things we cherish most to ourselves. Or, we may keep secrets to protect those we care about. So, what makes us willing to keep things buried when they often hurt us add than they help us? Think a propos things that you keep hidden a propos yourself. Often, we have many diminutive quirks we prefer to keep en route for ourselves rather than share with all around us. In many circumstances, we justify keeping secrets because we accept as true it will cause less pain.

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